Coping With The Loss of A Beloved Pet

It’s difficult to deal with a pet’s death, no matter if you’ve had them for a month, a decade, or more. We had the pleasure of living with our adopted shih tzu, Flower, for almost eight years. Flower walked out of our arms and over the Rainbow Bridge eight days ago. The above is a picture taken three years ago of her walking over a bridge in our backyard.

Flower brought us so much joy. She was the firecracker of the bunch, our only dog who chased squirrels, our only dog who climbed the tiers in the backyard to escape into the yard behind us, the dog who huffed at me when I yelled at my computer, the dog who barked to signal the arrival of the mailman, the only dog who wiggled with joy when we reached for the drawer where we kept her harness, and the dog who sat between us in the front seat on the way to the park, barely able to contain her excitement about the upcoming walk.

She was our beautiful Flower, and there will never be another dog like her. Our four dogs all filled a unique spot in our home, and her spot will now remain empty, causing a hole in our house and in our hearts. I don’t know how we’ll manage to walk the other dogs without her, but I know we’ll get through this, and there will eventually be a new normal we will have to accept. 

We were blindsided by her death on June 2, and we are valiantly trying to hold it together for ourselves and our other three dogs, Dottie, Nigel, and Candy. We have prayed, reached out to friends, talked and talked and talked about this beautiful little furbaby who energized us. We have cried and cried some more.

During the last week, I looked up and read as many articles as I could on coping with grief, and it’s ugly companion, guilt. I hope that some of these links might help others who are going through the same situation and facing the future without their beloved pet. 

If you have anything that helped you cope with your precious pet’s death, please share with me and our readers. My heart goes out to anyone who has gone through, is going through, or will go through the sorrow we are feeling over our beloved Flower. 

I hope these links will help:

5 Ways to Heal When Grieving the Loss of a Pet

6 Stages of Pet Grief and How to Move Through Them

7 Ways to Cope With the Loss of a Pet

A Dangerous Villian: Guilt

A Pet’s Death Can Hurt More Than Losing a Fellow Human

Breaking the Power of Guilt 

Comforting Prayers for the Loss of a Beloved Dog or Cat

Coping With an Empty Home When You Miss Your Best Friend

Coping With Losing a Pet

Coping With The Death of Your Pet

Coping With The Loss of A Fur Baby: Pet Grieving Support Group

Coping With The Loss Of A Pet

Coping With Your Pet’s Death: An Important Guide

Dealing With Guilt After Pet Loss

Dealing With The Guilt

Four Steps To Take After Experiencing Pet Loss

Grieving for the Loss of a Pet: Pet Loss Quotes

How Do You Forgive Yourself?

How to Cope With The Loss of a Loved Pet

How to Deal With Guilt After the Loss of Your Dog

How to Deal With Guilty Feelings After Your Dog’s Death

How to Deal With the Death of Your Dog

How To Mindfully Grieve The Death Of A Pet

I Miss My Dog: Has Grief for a Dog Who Died Ever Overwhelmed You?

Loss and The Burden of Guilt

The Double Whammy of Death and Guilt

My Died Died and I Can’t Get Over It

My Pet Died and I think It’s My Fault

On Grieving a Dog You Rescued

The Emotions of Pet Loss

Things I Wish I Had Known When My Dog Died

Understanding and Coping With The Loss of a Pet

What To Say To Someone Grieving The Loss of a Pet

Why Losing a Dog Can Be Harder Than Losing a Relative

Why The Loss of Your Pet Could Be The Hardest to Bear

Why Can’t I Get Over My Dog’s Death?

Why Your Dog’s Death May Be The Most Difficult Event Of Your Life

You’re Not Crazy, You’re Mourning: Grief from the Loss of Your Dog

Rainbow Bridge

Shih Tzu Week 121: Getting Used to Visitors

Oct. 17 – Oct. 23, 2013

Thursday, Oct. 17 

My intentions were good when I set Mom and her furry friends up in the basement, since she would have her own fridge, bathroom, and plenty of space for litter boxes and food bowls. However, she thought it was spooky, so we moved her and Buddy upstairs last night. She liked it much better. We also lifted the ban on Spot Collins (her Maine Coon) and Panda entering the living room, and they made themselves right at home. I wasn’t sure how Flower would react to cats in her territory, but she seemed to adjust quickly. What a menagerie! Dottie and Flower aren’t quite sure how to act with visitors here. They stayed in Shih Tzu Central all day but came out and strolled around after Mom went to bed. I said Flower seemed to adjust quickly. After Mom went to bed, she jumped up on the couch Mom is borrowing from her to sniff what has been going on there with another dog. Then, she decided to try to chase Spot Collins away by barking/growling at him, but Spot took a seat on a dining room chair and wouldn’t budge.

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Nigel and Candy ran after her, maybe thinking there was going to be a scuffle. It did look like a little shih tzu gang trying to scare off a lone, although big, kitty. Spot didn’t seem very frightened, though. Flower couldn’t quite reach him through the chair slats, and he rested on his side, swatting Flower away every now and then. Finally, Spot seemed to get tired of the exchange and jumped down and sauntered towards the stairs.

 Friday, Oct. 18

This morning didn’t start out well. When I let Buddy out, Spot Collins sauntered out behind him. Since it had snowed and I was in my sleepwear, I had to grab a coat and put on my sandals. He had already made his way halfway up our tiered landscape area, so I had to climb over the fence we have there to keep Flower on the ground and chase him down. Then, while holding the giant cat, I had to jump back down. I am considering putting him on a leash like Jeff and Lynda Petersen do with their giant cat.

Saturday, Oct. 19

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Sunday, Oct. 20

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Tuesday, Oct. 22

We have tried our best to keep Spot Collins from going outside, but now he’s figured out how to go out the doggy door, and then how to get under the deck. We went in under one side and out the other. John had to lure him back in both times. Since he has figured it out, I wish he would teach Candy and Dottie to go through it! Instead, we took the doggy door out for the time being. I don’t want to lose him! Mom would be heartbroken.

Wednesday, Oct. 23

I have been concerned about Mom’s things she will be taking to Florida. Sandy is going to have a hard enough time because of her pet allergies. I don’t want dusty items to bother her too. While I was going through some of the newspaper clippings Mom collected, I saw one saying to put an allergic child’s stuffed animals in the freezer to kill dust mites before they sleep with them. Mom’s stuffed cats and tigers didn’t look dusty, but I bagged them and put them in the freezer anyway. I also bagged the stuffed elephants Mom made us when we were children and gave them a turn in the freezer. Can’t wait ’til John finds them and thinks I’ve gone around the bend.

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Shih Tzu Gardens: Flowers Galore!

Shih Tzu Gardens

Our four shih tzus will tell you it’s been a busy summer with lots of changes! One of the biggest ones has been their backyard! When they arrived at our home in June 2011, they had a very big backyard with nothing interesting to look at. Not anymore!

Over the last several months, we have added to our deck, invested in patio furniture and an umbrella, planted a vegetable garden and planted lots of flowers. I think we will all be sad when cold weather hits!

Candy and the Secret Garden

Candy Shih Tzu in the garden.

Candy rests near the “Secret Garden” of mainly coneflower (Echinacea) varieties.

Flower and the Blanket Flower Garden

A shih tzu investigates blanket flowers (Gaillardia).

Flower investigates the blanket flowers (Gaillardia).

 

Our Weekend Foster Shih Tzu

We had a guest shih tzu this weekend. Delores from BFF Rescue called April 10 and asked if we could watch a one-year-old foster shih tzu for the weekend. His foster family was going to be out of town. I was hesitant, especially since it was a boy, and Nigel doesn’t seem to like other males stepping into his Shih Tzu Kingdom. Also, since I am now a confirmed shih tzu lover, I imagined I would fall in love with him and hate to see him go. But I said yes.

Zeus the foster shih tzu

Zeus arrived Friday, April 12, early in the afternoon. When she dropped him off, she said that she would be picking him up Saturday afternoon to take him to meet a couple considering adopting him.
Zeus is black and white and looked like a cross between Nigel and Dottie. Like most dogs I’ve met that go through the “doggie foster system,” Zeus is slim. Delores said he probably weighs about ten pounds. I think Nigel weighed nine pounds when we got him, but Zeus looked even thinner because he has longer legs. Nigel looks quite a bit heftier, probably because he has probably gained five pounds since coming to live here, and because he hasn’t been groomed for a while, so his long fur makes him look even bigger.
Zeus made me realize that I seriously have to rethink what I feed our shih tzus, or, more exactly, how much.  I don’t tink Candy is overweight, but Dottie is less active and definitely is, and Flower and Nigel could stand to lose a pound or two.
Delores warned me not to pick Zeus up right away, because she said he has a tendancy to nip at people. He seemed right at home from the minute he arrived. It didn’t take long for him to jump up onto the couch and claim the arm on the John and Nigel side of the couch. Later, I had bookends when Flower jumped up and took her place on the other end, where she likes to sit.
Zeus followed me around all afternoon. When I went into the bathroom, he jumped into the tub, possibly looking for water, and then jumped back out. When I went into the bedroom, he swiftly jumped up on the bed. I was surprised, since I don’t think even Flower, our jumper, can do that. At least she hasn’t attempted it.
When Candace came home from work, she quickly took a liking to Zeus, and he began following her around. Zeus sat between us that evening while we were watching TV. I saw what Delores meant when I made a quick movement with my hand too close to his face and he nipped at my finger. I was more careful the rest of the evening.
I figured he was the kind of shih tzu that would want to sleep with his humans, so I asked Candace if she wanted to take him to bed with her. He stayed with her throughout the night.
The next morning, she commented that she was concerned that he wouldn’t go to a good home. I know that she would have considered adopting him if she had her own place.
Delores arrived at about 1:30 to pick up Zeus. She called a few hours later to let me know that the couple had decided to adopt Zeus and to thank us for taking care of him.
I was very happy that BFF Rescue had once again found a home for an adorable little shih tzu. I hope he brings his new family as much joy as our four little ones have brought us!

Shih Tzu Progression

I hate to think when the last time was that I made a post! All I can say is that our puppy mill shih tzus seem to progress daily!

Take today, for example. When we were sitting on the couch this morning, John commented about a time when the female shih tzus would bark whenever he came downstairs, acting like he was an intruder. Now, they act as happy to see him as they do to see me, and they spend a lot of time letting him pet them.

Also, Candace passed her cosmetology practical test yesterday and I told her I would take her for lunch and we would celebrate with a mimosa. After she arrived, I went to put on my boots and Flower jumped on the couch and began pawing at me. Some people might not realize what that symbolizes, but after looking back at notes from last January, it’s significant.

Candy, freshly-groomed, on the way to the park

When I put my boots on, Dottie, Flower and Nigel think it means one thing: We are going for a walk! A year ago, that would not have been a reason to get excited — except for Nigel. That would have been a reason to run and hide. Now, however, I had to tell them I was sorry and promise them a walk when I returned.

Dottie and Candy catching up on a walk

What happened when Candace and I returned was another glimpse of their progression. I brought the orange juice and champagne to the table for our celebration. About ten minutes later, Flower, Nigel and Dottie came to see what was going on. A year ago, the girls would have stayed in their corner. A few months ago, they would have possibly come and sat by me, but they would have otherwise been unsociable shih tzus.

Flower gets lovin' from Candace.

Now, however, Candace stooped to pet Flower and Flower moved closer to be petted. A little later, Dottie followed her lead.

After Candace left, all the shih tzus started roaming around the living room and staring at me. The snow kept me from taking them yesterday, but I didn’t want to disappoint them again, so I got down the harness box. Flower flew down from the couch, her tail wagging, and Dottie wandered over. I never know what Candy is going to do, but even she wandered towards the door and waited for me to put her harness on her.

Nigel and Candy explore an unfamiliar backyard.

Once outside, the shih tzus sniffed their way along the cul de sac and then towards the open area behind Wal-Mart, Dottie and Candy trailing their leashes behind them, and me holding on to Nigel and Flower’s. We ended up having to take a different route, though. We started going east, but school had let out early, and a handful of teenagers were throwing snowballs at each other. Flower and Dottie trotted along, Candy raced towards them barking (odd behavior for her!), but Dottie stopped in her tracks as if to say “Danger!”

I finally gave up and turned them around. Instead, we walked along the main road, beyond where we usually turn to go home. The condo complex on the next block is getting a new fence, so the fence has been tour down. Nigel, Flower and Candy wandered through the backyards, fascinated by new territory, until I turned them around to go home.

With all the progress, I do have one thing to work on. I try to feed the shih tzus equally, and although Nigel and Candy stay thin, Dottie and Flower are definitely looking a little “plump.” John has taken to calling them his little “Fat Girls” (after the “Fat Boys” in the recent version of Alice in Wonderland. So, our big goal for this new year is to slim down our little angels!